What is the point of living if you're not happy?

Questions like these haunt us every now and then, especially in times of distress. It makes us wonder why do we even exist and what is the point of it all. Moreover, when there’s pain and no constant source of happiness in our lives felling doubtful is more than evident, that being said, what could be an effective solution? Here’s what I think.

The point of living when you’re not happy is the realization that the origin of your desire for happiness is flawed which in turn leads you to the path of seeking long lasting way to be satisfied. This cannot be done through materialistic means but by appreciating the small things in life and helping others.

Notice the good things in your present situation

I see a child enjoying the sprinkles of water in a park or a garden probably. It’s hard not to notice how happy he is in the picture. But, if we take an adult in the same situation, they’d probably be upset that they got wet and now they need to change because of which they’ll be late to work. I know it’s a simple example but it shows the clear difference in mindset when we grow up. We become so occupied with our responsibilities that we forget to enjoy the small things in life.

One day I was just passing by the street when I saw a homeless child begging for money. The moment I saw him, I started thinking myself in his place and I wasn’t even able to comprehend the hardship he would be going through. Just a day before I was sleepless walking in my college campus corridor at midnight contemplating life, thinking how many failure’s I have had till now and how am I going to achieve those audacious goals.

And, now when I think of it, I am like, is it even necessary? Not in terms of achieving the goal but in terms of the specific time frame and the number of trials? I now remember that child and realize how lucky I am to be able to even have goals beyond just survival because for that kid, probably managing to earn his bread everyday in itself is a big deal.

Please do note that, this flow of thought if implied in an extensive way leads to laziness and procrastination as well. We know ourselves better than anyone else, this same thought can also act as a way to comfort yourself. Hence, there is a fine line or a sweet spot if you may call it between the two.
Best would be to use this thought when you’re actually very sad or when you feel defeated and continue with regular motivation in other circumstances.

What is happiness anyway and what makes it valuable

Well, happiness technically is the state of profound contentment or bliss and in an ideal scenario anyone would like to be happy all the time. But, in reality neither possible nor sustainable. Just think of a moment when you wanted something for the core of your heart, and you were really excited to get it. But sooner than later, the value it once had was lost. It’s the same with happiness, unless you’re sad more so for a long period of time you’ll realize the value of happiness.

Here are some actionable steps you could take:

• Realize that you’re just one among billions, this will make you feel that the world doesn’t work for you and it’s the other way around because you’re a part of this universe.
• Realize that you’re lucky, in-spite of how bad a situation you’re in right now. You’re one of the millions to race and get a life in the first place, see how lucky you are!
• Write down your goals in life and things that you value
• Write down your failures till now and analyze. Are the failures inline with your goals?
• If yes, note down what you learnt from them.
• If no, figure out what were you spending time on till now and make changes accordingly.
• Talk to your family and ask about their lives. Share your feelings.
• Work on your plan, have gratitude for smallest of things and help others out.

Are you unhappy because of your peers or society?

There can be an instance where you were once very happy and content for days or probably months and now when reality has hit you you’re questioning the point of it all. This is a usual case of constant dopamine overdose which is a courtesy of social media. You probably need a dopamine detox.

Just think for a second, if you never had access to social media or internet for that matter, would you really be unhappy right now? Most of our problems lie over there. Less is more, use of internet is good, overuse of anything is toxic. I don’t think I need to tell you that you have to stop caring about the society’s expectation of you and you should not derive your milestones from someone else’s life because everyone has a different timeline.

Ignorance is bliss.

– Thomas Gray

Helping the one’s in need

I think everyone knows the feeling of almost instant happiness when you help someone in need, maybe your friend who has been struggling through a problem, you sibling with their studies, your mom with her household work, and mostly a poor person with some food or money. You’re basically not receiving anything. You’re just providing what you were capable of; yet it is you who’s happy. It’s because you feel valued and this is the magic of helping others.

Summary:

The hope that things will change for the better is what makes life bearable when we’re not happy and if it were good & rosy all the time, the entire essence of happiness would cease to exist. Moreover, minor or even prolonged sadness as painful as it maybe will not last forever. The moment we see people in worse conditions than ours, people for whom our lives would be no less than a boon granted to them, we begin to realize how lucky we are and this appreciation of our present situation is the key to satisfaction. Finally, taking action on things you’re passionate about and seeing the outcome being reality will quench this quest of finding the point in life.

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Related:

How do I start living in the present?

Get onto doing something, if you wait to get in the mood, you’ll procrastinate forever. But if you just start even if you’re not feeling like it, the zeal comes back when you start seeing some progress.

How can I stop overthinking?

As much as you love consumption, not just food but, information, via social media and YouTube, you’re overdosed with a lot of data. The human mind is not just a consuming machine but one of creation too. It lies in our core to create which is not limited to reproduction, creation can be artistic, your regular or pending work, it can also include spending time with your family & friends since conversations are also helpful.