The SHER's Blog

  Marriages & Love One Year Epilogue My Village Experience   Leaving your father's home is necessary to become a man The boon of writing: A way out of loneliness What is the point of living if you're not happy?   The beauty of Spring lies in Autumn    Reflection  

Okay this post is a realization and reflection of what I’ve been going through. To put it bluntly, I have not written anything in past couple of months. Although the dates on each post reflect reach month but that is adjusted, I have not touched the keyboard in about half a year. And I feel I have lost touch of writing, not only does this feel like a task task, I don’t see the point altogether. Maybe I need sometime to revive my old though process but frankly I don’t want to. I am planning to quit writing, by this obviously I mean writing articles on this blog. I still believe writing as a way to vent out suppressed emotions is one of the best ways to heal and grow. I don’t know why but since yesterday when I decided that I will stop writing, there was a sense of relief in my mind that I do not have to do all of these tasks and now I can utilize all of this time for something else. I maybe wrong in this and if that is true, you’ll see me back here again but if not, Sayonara it is!

There are a handful of memories which stays with you for a lifetime, moving out of your parents house and living alone is one and that feeling gets a total new turn when you start living with someone. Of course here living with someone infers to living with your partner rather than a roommate/friend because you picture your life with that person in a totally different way compared to a friend. You start to share responsibilities of the household together and it feels like you’re starting a new home outside of your real home where you were brought up in. All the things initially are very rosy and you’ll love every bit of it and then slowly the differences will creep in. You’ll want to do something and your partner would want something else. In most cases you will be able to find a common ground and resolve the issues but there will be times when both of you will be poles apart. Such situations will create a havoc in your relationship. You’ll start questioning what’s the point of being t...

Mediocrity more than a self realization stems from the society’s expectation from us; which is not necessarily a bad thing. And in this article we will understand why. But before we understand that, here is why people stay mediocre in life. Most people stay mediocre in life because they get accustomed to the comfort zone they’re in. Even if they’re not really where they want to be, extended period of anything be it a bad situation becomes comforting and it becomes very difficult to choose uncertainty over comfort. Credits: Unsplash Cocooned in the comfort zone It is obvious that someone who is drowning will put his life to swim above the water even though he doesn’t know how to swim. But someone who already knows how to swim and is not in a difficult situation is relaxed and stress free. Now if you ask him to level up his swimming skills or to learn surfing, seeing the amount of learning curve it has, he will rather opt out of it. This scenario happens to all of us countless times in ...

    What to do when just bored? Sleep>Read>Talk to your bae>Watch the Northern Lights>Video tour of Maldives white sand beaches>Update your bucket list I am feeling something which is inexplicable. Now is the correct time to become a spectator instead of a doer. Just observe what you are feeling, don’t try to make meaning out of anything just observe. If not for an experience, it’ll definitely be a reasonable timepass. Why is it that I am never happy? It’s not like you’re never happy, it’s just that your happy moments are infrequent. Have you tried creating something instead of just consuming videos, news feed, songs, talk (being a listener) etc… Try making something, anything, stories, art, book, music, dance, a project on your coursework, talk to random people (being the speaker). Make a journal or use a notepad on your phone and note down ideas that pop up in your mind now and then and try to pursue them sometime. Should I leave my home country in pursuit of ...

Describe the best kind of love. Love which is unconditional. Cliché? Haha. You’ll receive this kind of love only from your parents. Trust me not even your siblings, or your spouse, or your so called friends will love you unconditionally. Forget them, even you will not be able to love someone unconditionally unless you become a parent. Rest all is just nature’s play. This is the best and most underrated kind of love. You may argue that even this becomes a little annoying when you’re transitioning from teen to adult. I agree that it's called the best kind, not the perfect kind. How do I maintain a good relationship with my loved ones? It’s easy if you stay outside your home country. Remember their birthdays and anniversaries, if you can’t, set up the calendar or ask your sibling to remind you. Call them 2-3 or at least once a week and talk to them properly, ask them about their day, the gossip in the locality, their health and tell them that you miss them even if you don’t. If you s...

  How can I get over the fact that I am growing up?   I am just in college but still missing my childhood and high school days. If that happens infrequently then it’s okay, if you’re constantly thinking that way, it is very likely that those times were way better than your present situation and you’re craving that. Focus on what you can do right now to flip the situation, so that even this moment will be nostalgic later on. How to focus? Don’t go and start making a routine/arranging tasks in order to complete. Just treat everything in FCFS you’ll automatically be doing all that unknowingly (subconsciously) and you’ll be back on track. Should I take life advice from my seniors?   Your immediate seniors can only help you w.r.t academics and short term vision because they’re themselves not experienced much and just as clueless as you are. So, reach out to seniors who’re doing what you wanna do and are 7-10 years down the line, they can give you a real day in the life of thei...

Writing has to be one of the most underrated skills. It is profoundly useful in almost everything because writing teaches you how to think. Almost any teen curious about life could be called a philosopher but his thought process is scattered all over the place and he tries to portray himself as someone worthy which he’s not. When you try to jot down your thoughts your pace of thinking slows down giving you control on how to think, while before you were in a over speeding vehicle. If you can think, speak and write you’re absolutely deadly. -Jordan Peterson Being your own friend Social beings need to be expressive, more so when you’re human. We have evolved as a tribal species living in groups like lions and monkeys unlike tigers; but the modern world has made it inevitable that we live like a tiger. Everyone has social media and countless friends but no one to really talk to. The amount of loneliness we feel in this 21st century is just staggering especially in the young generation. Thi...

Trishneet shifted to Mars after having a bad breakup to live in solitude. Although Mars wasn’t really different from Earth, the population over there was significantly less which made it very peaceful. He wasn’t particularly hurt, he was just a little sad that a companion who was there all the time wasn’t around anymore and her absence was felt. If you’re not aware, this is how most men really are. Since, nature has endowed responsibilities to provide and protect; a man never wants to show his weakness. So it would not be true to say that Trishneet wasn’t hurt, rather, he was unable to comprehend what had happened and how he should react. Still if you observed him, his social activities weren’t distinguishable from others apart from he was a little aloof. People usually become an introvert after a heart break but these are different kind of introverts. They actually mingle into conversations fairly quickly once they’re able to connect and are not overwhelmed. They usually try to make p...

Let’s talk about women today. This is going to be a male-centric article and if you’re someone who says you’re a feminist but doesn’t really believe that equal voicing of opinions should be applicable to men as well; then kindly refrain from reading further. Women are one of those breathtaking creations of nature that in themselves are inexplicable. It would be foolish of me if I try to describe their beauty in words. Just look at them when they’re dressed their best or when they’re caring for someone (because to nurture, is their innate nature) and you’ll need no evidence. The level of sophistication they have while being so innocent is so much fun to play along with. If you were to talk to a man you can mostly get to know what kind of a person he is within half an hour or so. But it’s not the same with women, they’re actually not very predictable. It may seem that they lack substance but if you bear with the initial ice breaking it is so much fun to interact with women. Having friend...

It is always better to have a bad/weak father than to not have a father at all. The confidence a child develops simply by the mere presence of a father figure is often overlooked and also goes unobserved by the child himself. Mothers nurture a child and are all about loving the child, their primary instinct is to feed their kid and keep them safe i.e, away from trouble. A father teaches his kid view trouble as challenges because that is where growth happens. A boy who grows up without a father figure lacks self-esteem. He doesn’t have the guts to mess with someone stronger than him even in mischief which later on makes him unable to stand for what is right in life. He can’t take a stand and stay firm at it, all of this happens unconsciously while he would think that he’s getting proper parenting and his life is good since he has a loving mother. When you have a bad/weak father, at the very least you have his name and are not discriminated by the society and you’re able to figure out wi...

Spring is arguably the best season on Earth. Sprouting of flowers from the buds of a plant, chirping of birds and the constant flow of cool breeze makes you feel alive and kicking. Almost everything you see is coming to life and even those trees which have shown zero signs of life are budding flowers which is so satisfying to see and the entire environment is covered with vegetation. I feel like Spring signifies the best moments in our lives. All the victories we have had, the cheerful moments with our loved ones, all the experiences of the inexplicable wonders of nature resembles epitome of ecstasy. We feel on the top of the world during these times but sometimes during these, we fail to realize what actually got us there. It was a result of all the hard work that you poured in before hand. When there’s a dopamine surge in our brains i.e, when we achieve something it drops our IQ by at least 50 points. We just get in the moment emotionally that we are unable to process things in a rat...

All of us have been guilty of procrastination more than once in our lives. This article is not the regular talk on how to beat procrastination and succeed in life. We talk about failure in this one. See the thing is, procrastination is easy; so damn easy. All you have to do is convince yourself that there’s time and you’ll cover up tomorrow and Humans, what do I say. We are masters at self deception. Ever had a dilemma choosing between two equally compelling options? Then you weigh out the pros and cons of each and make a rational choice, but it turns out the one you didn’t choose was in your fate and now you quickly adjust the pros and cons to your favor so that you don’t feel you lost and whatever happened, happened for the best. This happens all the time. Credits: Photo by cottonbro from Pexels But the real problem is something else. It’s the first law of motion, regarding inertia. The regular running away from facing the reality becomes a habit, and a very strong one. Its no less ...

Hathiyahi, Khajauli My Grandparent’s place The last time I went to my village was in 10th grade to attend a relative’s wedding. All throughout high school and 3 years of college I did not get a chance to go there until the pandemic happened and now, I am in my final year of college. So, it’s technically 5 years since I last went there. If you ask me what’s the best and worst thing I’ve noticed this time; I would say, “Nothing has changed” for both the questions. My village is a typical one, gravel road, public transport only till the nearest sub-city, thereafter you’re on your own or you need to ask your relatives to pick you up, there’s electricity outage every now and then, farming is the primary occupation, almost zero restaurants but maybe a small Dhaba or independent food sellers selling eateries like Pakoda, Fofi, Kachri, and the likes, the running water has a lot of iron in it, bad phone network and no internet (obviously). There’s also an old temple that has a Shivalinga which ...

What is the one thing that is certain to happen in life? Think about it. It’s death. When you try to feel this through your soul, you get to a few realizations: If I am going to die anyway, how does all of this matter? An average human is going to live for 75 years (let’s say) and his legacy is going to be there for 25 years (presumably). Thereafter, your entire existence would be gone from this planet. What does this imply? This implies that it’s okay if you fail. If nothing is going to matter anyway, why stress about it; you basically get a permission to fail. Now, when you observe a little more, this very moment is unique and will not come back ever. How does this make you feel? I certainly feel nothing but an abundant sense of gratitude. The Big Bang started with a tiny point, then formed 200 billion galaxies, and led to me writing this tweet while standing in line at 7-Eleven. Why is everyone acting like this is normal? Life is a miracle. -Lex Fridman Finally, combining these two;...

Learning how to live all by your own is one of the most important if not the most essential skills one should develop. This may go against the usual notion that humans are social creatures and we yearn for day-to-day interactions and that is not incorrect. What I am trying to say is that, if you’re able to live all by your own, you’ll live the ultimate life. How? Let me explain. First of all, let’s feel the fact that we’re also animals. Yeah, we’ve become socialized and we have a great civilization and what not but the matter of fact is that we are also animals just like the rest of animal kingdom. So, I started exploring some wildlife videos wherein a lion pride was attacked by two brother lions. They we’re able to overthrow the current leader and once they did that, they killed all of his cubs that very moment. Watching those little cubs surrender to death was heartbreaking to watch. But that is not what shattered me into pieces. It was the lioness, instead of doing something to prot...